After five or six years I started to question why I was doing ultra's- mostly while I was doing them. They were quite exhausting and actually painful for a day or two after the finish. They took a lot of time to train for and a lot of money goes into getting ready and being prepared. I was doing well. Regular ski marathons were too short- I didn't have enough speed to be good, but I'd always finish with plenty of energy. I was doing well enough that I had defined myself by my accomplishments and felt like I had to keep racing. Was it arrogance that was telling me that it would be a waste to stop using this ability I had? Or was I afraid to let go of how I was defining myself and that I would turn into a "once-was, has-been" storyteller of what I once was?
My body took care of all that thinking for me. On a short hill-climb of a road bicycle race, I compromised my back and developed a herniated disc in my low back that presses into my spinal cord to this day. Racing would never be the same from that day forward. It took about two months to walk upright mostly pain free, and five months before my wife got me a 30-day yoga challenge for my birthday. 30 days of 105 degree core-based yoga got me out of a back brace. I would mountain bike race the next summer, but recurring flare-ups of inflammation would make my activities for the next four years hit or miss, laying on my back for weeks staring at the ceiling until the inflammation would subside enough to move around comfortably.
This forced a shift in priorities. Walking dominates my activities. Biking and skiing occasionally while being hyper conscious and limiting my exertion to what felt "OK". Running only uphill. Racing sporadically only when the races lined up wit me feeling great. Racing had a different mindset. There was no goal to be in any certain place. Racing because it was fun to go fast and breathe hard and challenge my riding skills. Always conscious of how I was feeling. Dropping out when my mind was saying "Don't Quit" and my body was saying "You're Going to Pay For This- I'm Done".
All the while the little voice in the back of my head was thinking about one more ultra...
My body took care of all that thinking for me. On a short hill-climb of a road bicycle race, I compromised my back and developed a herniated disc in my low back that presses into my spinal cord to this day. Racing would never be the same from that day forward. It took about two months to walk upright mostly pain free, and five months before my wife got me a 30-day yoga challenge for my birthday. 30 days of 105 degree core-based yoga got me out of a back brace. I would mountain bike race the next summer, but recurring flare-ups of inflammation would make my activities for the next four years hit or miss, laying on my back for weeks staring at the ceiling until the inflammation would subside enough to move around comfortably.
This forced a shift in priorities. Walking dominates my activities. Biking and skiing occasionally while being hyper conscious and limiting my exertion to what felt "OK". Running only uphill. Racing sporadically only when the races lined up wit me feeling great. Racing had a different mindset. There was no goal to be in any certain place. Racing because it was fun to go fast and breathe hard and challenge my riding skills. Always conscious of how I was feeling. Dropping out when my mind was saying "Don't Quit" and my body was saying "You're Going to Pay For This- I'm Done".
All the while the little voice in the back of my head was thinking about one more ultra...
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